Meet Jessica Renfeldt

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jessica Renfeldt a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Jessica, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

I’ve often thought about this question and my belief is that I saw deep resilience in both my grandmother and mom.

My grandmother had a stroke at an early age, 42. I don’t really remember who my grandma was before her stroke, but I sure do remember who she was after. I only saw my grandma get frustrated by her inability to speak right after her stroke, one time, but after that she was strong and steadfast and never let her disability get to her. She never regained the ability to speak in full sentences, struggled to have clear penmanship, but this woman could cook and clean like no other, drove herself to her weekly hair appointments (a time when women had their hair “set”) and had a great sense of humor. She lived a full life of love and happiness despite the blow that life served her.

My mom was a true force to be reckoned with, too. She began having symptoms of MS at the age of 16 and was diagnosed in college. By the time she married, she was told she shouldn’t have children, BUT she had FOUR of us. I never heard my mom complain even though I know that MS is a painful and debilitating disease that takes it’s toll. I saw her losing her ability to walk, to walking again several times over her life. She fought to walk and be independent for as long as she possibly could before her passing just this past January. Ultimately, it is when the MS took her ability to walk, for the last time, that she slowly started to get weaker and weaker–still not a complaint, only smiles and hugs.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

The world is full of sadness, loss and grief right now, for many reasons. I’ve taken my own experience with fighting cancer, a debilitating stroke and a heart transplant and have created a program that uses skills and strategies that I used not only to just simply get through the adversities, but to do it with joy, happiness, curiosity and adventure–creating a powerful resilience that anyone can unlock if they choose practice every day. Below is my manifesto:

In the face of profound loss, debilitating health challenges, shattered careers, or the weight of life’s hardships, together we stand united in gratitude, joy, resilience, and hope. The indomitable human spirit can persist in the darkest moments.

In grief, we find strength. In health crises, we discover courage. In career setbacks, together we uncover new paths. In sadness, we cultivate empathy and compassion. Together, we acknowledge the pain and honor the resilience that resides within.

We declare that our worth transcends our circumstances. Our shared journey through loss binds us, fostering a community that understands the depth of sorrow and the potential for growth.

We embrace the power of vulnerability, recognizing that healing begins with acknowledging our pain. In our collective vulnerability, we find solace, knowing we are not alone. Through mutual support, we transform suffering into shared strength.

We champion self-compassion, urging us to be gentle with ourselves as we navigate the complexities of grief and hardship. It calls for empathy toward others facing similar struggles, creating a sanctuary of understanding and solidarity.

In our shared sorrow, we forge a resilient alliance, acknowledging that healing is a nonlinear journey. We commit to fostering a space where everyone, regardless of their suffering, can find refuge, understanding, and unwavering belief in the possibility of renewal.

United, we rise from the ashes of adversity, resilient and connected, embracing the profound truth that even amid loss and pain, life’s inherent beauty persists.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

1. Gratitude: Finding little things to be grateful for, which ultimately turned into really big and wonderful things to be grateful for.
2. Joy: Practicing joy, opens your heart to remembering what truly brings you joy. With joy comes happiness, curiosity, and adventure.
3. Resilience is unlimited as long as you are looking for and practice gratitude and joy.

Simply put, Gratitude + Joy = Resilience

Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?

Letting go of what I can’t control. In the past 12 months, I lost my children’s father (my husband for 27 years), my mom, and my career, and I have started my own company.

With all of these things, I’ve relearned how to surrender, allow myself to learn what I need to learn, and not try to control every waking breath. This is something I also had to learn during my health crises, but a big part of me still fights to take control even though I know it doesn’t work and only proves to take more energy than letting go does. For me, I have to practice simply letting things be, sometimes, just like I have to practice gratitude, finding joy, and ultimately building resilience.